It is an empowering thought to imagine all of our needs being met within our own power. It is also inaccurate.

We do not entirely depend on others for our success, failure or enjoyment; but our experiences are directly influenced by other individuals.

When I call customer support, the person on the other end of the line can exert power to inject the conversation with a desire to help or with disdain for my requests.

Each member of a team meeting holds a hand. They can decide which card to lay down at the table: collaboration, tyranny, eagerness, stonewalling or disinterest. What they play can change the whole game.

When addressing an incident, a manager chooses the story she tells her employee. The story could be about her commitment, and the commitment of the organization, to invest in the development of the employee. Or the manager could choose to tell a story of rules, infidelity and fear of what lies ahead. The selection of this story affects which story the employee chooses to tell himself, his colleagues and his family.

To a certain degree, we are at the mercy of others. We are not powerless victims, but we do need others to join us in telling a story that ultimately is about doing what is right, overcoming evil, sacrificing for others, showing compassion for the hurting, serving with joy and passion… a story about love.

To see yourself at the mercy of others may feel disempowering, but then there is the realization that others are at your mercy as well.

Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.
Mohandas Gandhi

In a small twist, I’d like to take this anecdote and actually put it to use.

Anecdotes are recommended to presenters (including pastors) to help break the ice, bring comic relief and engage the audience. The problem is when the anecdote doesn’t relate to the message. Even if you’re not a presenter, this is relevant to you.

What is the TRUTH about your company’s story, your family’s story, your story?

If you ask this of your colleagues, your employees and your customers, will you get mostly the same story or greatly varying answers?

Why would they vary? Because everyone has their own personal experience. We possess our own anecdotal evidence to support our perceptions about most everything. And this personal story IS our truth. Unfortunately, we may be telling a story that doesn’t connect with what people experience. Like the case of the pastor’s sermon, the anecdote and the message don’t relate.

The idea of telling a consistent story isn’t new. Not even close, but are you paying attention to the anecdotes you are creating? Every interaction with someone else is an opportunity to frame the story they tell. If others all start telling the same basic story, then you may reach a (tipping) point where people who haven’t interacted with you directly are helping tell your story. We could call this Critical Anecdotal Mass.

It isn’t about manipulation or distortion of the truth. It’s about being authentic, but intentional. They are stories about Apple’s hyper-controlled design standards, the brilliant generosity of Tom’s Shoes or the affordable build-it-yourself eurostyle of IKEA.

So, let’s put down the futon anecdote, step away slowly and start telling the stories that matter.

The Happy Couple
The customer gleefully spending all their money with you out of some sense of belonging.

The Ol’ Ball & Chain
The customer is locked into a relationship with you because of terms and conditions or simply a lack of better choices.

The Gold Digger
The customer only stays with you because of the ‘gifts’ you give them.  Once the flow of giving stops, so does the love. 

I saw a billboard for U.S. Cellular the other day.  It read, “We Believe Loyalty Matters.”

It was unclear what they meant by that and it made me think.  I wondered, “Whose loyalty matters?”

Businesses today are so focused on creating customer loyalty.  It is a lofty goal to aspire to be such a great company that people will not leave you for a lower price or better rewards program.  How do you do that?  Which above version of customer loyalty do you pursue?

What if we completely changed our vision of customer loyalty to something like this:

Be loyal to our customers.

Now, what does that change?

She’s right. Not only is proximity an issue, but there’s something comforting in another person knowing the “hole-in-the-wall” restaurant we love or the fact we had a relative in the obituary this morning. Not because we told them, but because they experienced it… they saw it.

Don’t we all want that? We want communers at our table, not commuters interrupting our lives. When we go to buy hiking equipment, we want an experienced hiker to help us find what we need. But more than that, how comforting is it to hear, “I remember my first hike. I wish I had one of these smaller backpacks. I wore myself out carrying too many unnecessary items. Since you’re going on a weekend hike, I’d recommend keeping your load light.”

As marketers (which we all are, to a degree), we have to remember this.

Do we drive in, drop off our marketing message, then speed back home? Or do we take the time to experience real community with our customers? Do we experience a part of their lives? Eat from their table? Drink from their cup?

Our agency helped a client develop a customer advisory board. We brought in 15 of their top customers, fed them dinner and discussed the company, the community and the customers. It was eye-opening. Assumptions were shattered and revelations came forth.

We made new friends and discovered something new about ourselves. I’m so glad we did it.

Try to commune with your customers. I think you’ll be amazed at the information, insight, and loyalty you gain.

What is it with the human need to turn everything into an acronym? Really. I cut this out of a magazine I was flipping through last week about, of all things, CUSTOMER SERVICE.

These were some fun TV ads we created for a Tulsa area business. It really fits their brand, since they’re known for matching people with just the right appliances. We’re hoping to build on this concept.

This is called a Whisper Phone. Our daughter’s elementary school teacher showed it to us at a parent/teacher conference. Children use the whisper phone so they can hear themselves read out loud, but not disturb the other students. Our innovative teacher had created hers out of PVC materials and spend less than a dollar on each phone. The manufactured versions retail for about $8.

Interesting how homemade is a style instead of a process now. Trust me, Ryan did not make this at his home. If it were homemade, you think it would come with a mass-produced sign containing a registration mark?

OK, who was the genius who decided to use Boise State quartertback Jared Zabransky to promote NCAA 08 in Oklahoma Wal-Marts?

I understand he’s on the cover of the game, but don’t they realize Boise State upset OU last year in the Fiesta Bowl (it was an amazing game, by the way)? I would think the promotional materials, if not the game cover itself, would be made as appealing as possible to each region it’s shipped. A Big XII player would have been much more appropriate. But being an Oklahoma State fan, I find this rather humorous.

I’m sorry, but I have a hard time sympathizing (literally) with someone who doesn’t put the name of their pet on their sign.

Tulsa is finally getting an Apple Store! This one is within just a few miles of my home. It won’t be done in time for the iPhone debut today. Below are the construction photos I took through a hole in the facade (geek alert).

Looks like we’ll be waiting a bit longer for our Apple Store to be fully operational.

Why have this sign at all if the exclusions are so broad? Why not put stickers on the Quarts that do come with a free pint? Of course this same frozen custard shop locked the doors behind us at 9:45 when their sign stated they close at 10:00. They had a bucket of mop water on the customer side of the counter (YUM!). They turned the outdoor lights out as we were enjoying our deserts al fresco. Guess they were in a hurry. Too bad we inconvenienced them with our business.

This picture isn’t very good, but you can probably tell it’s a flat tire. Nothing surprising, until you see what this tire is attached to.

It’s the tire rack at our local tire and lube center. The irony was too good to pass up.

Hope you enjoyed today’s SnapThoughts.

My brother-in-law and I had an interesting incident over Memorial Day weekend. We were having a party for my son’s first birthday. So, we went to Albertson’s to pick up my son’s birthday cake and some propane for my grill.

After we paid for everything, the clerk tells the grocery bagger to help us exchange my empty propane tank for a full one.

Bagger: (Blank look) I don’t know how to do that.

Clerk: Ask Suzie.

Bagger: (Blank look)

Clerk: Suzie? Can you help him exchange propane for these customers?

Suzie: Sure. (pulls out and holds up keys) Here are the keys, you know where the tanks are.

Bagger: (Blank look) I don’t know how to do that.

Suzie: (Scary look) You’ve got to be kidding me. They just gave me these keys this morning and I’ve been doing it all day.

Bagger: (Blank look)

Then Suzie helped us.

Wanna hear the REALLY ironic part?

The baggers name was “Will”.

I think his middle name is “Not”.

Update: Looks like Mike Wagner at Own Your Brand ran into his own “Will” recently. He’s asking for suggestions to overcome the “$30,000 Toothbrush Scandle”.

Maybe we can volley suggestions back-and-forth on how brand managers can overcome issues like Albertson’s Will and the Mike’s Toothbrush Nazi.

Mike Wagner has yet another fascinating post pondering the wisdom of incomplete brands. I love his thoughts and wonder why we don’t acknowledge how often the customer is wielding the paint brush, let alone encourage them to do it more.

Here are a few tidbits from my presentation yesterday. I spent most of my blog time (and more) preparing to speak at Entrepreneur’s Day, so this might be my only post this week.

The Marketing Proverb

If this is a marketing proverb, what is the moral?

or, some ad agencies prefer to

…simply entertain.

Do you ask this question?

How did you hear about us?

TV

Radio

Newspaper

Direct Mail

Billboard

Other

Hey car dealers… want to see some results?

When you see 71% of car purchasing decisions are influenced by word of mouth…

You’re right, but you can…

How do you influence word of mouth?

I’m not talking fashion trendsetters (unless you’re an apparel company). If you’re a technology company, these are the geeks. They’re the raving fans of your industry.

Do you make it easy for people to hand off your message to others?  More on this here.

The coupon above might get one person to show up, but it doesn’t encourage them to hand off the baton.

This coupon creates social currency. “You’ll like me more because I got us all free drinks.”

Online (blogs/message boards) or offline (customer advisory boards/customer events).

So, maybe we add two lines to our marketing proverb:

And the moral of our NEW proverb is…