Casual Fridays

“People might laugh at me.”

“I might lose it all.”

“You might say no.”

“Might” is mighty. It holds so much power over us. It makes many decisions for us. It enslaves us to the safe and known… as long as we allow it to.

By living in the “might” of the moment, we lose out on what truly is mighty. We abdicate our authority to potential futures of pain and suffering. The problem is this: these futures aren’t real. They only exist in our mind and that is the only place where “might” is mighty.

Next time you are faced with a decision and you begin to worry about what might happen, go out of your mind. Get out of the potential futures you are creating and remain in the moment. Strip “might” of its mightiness, and wield it yourself!

Embrace the moment for what it is and make a mighty decision, not a decision of “might.”

The world continues to move at ever-increasing speed. Twitter is not going to slow down for you to catch your breath.

Not only is work filling your day, but so are non-profits. Even consumer marketing seems to be vying for your time (“Visit our website.” “Fill out this survey.” “Engage in these conversations.”) instead of directly reaching for your billfold.

We’re all busy. It isn’t going to change anytime soon. If I could visualize this phenomenon, it would look like a monstrous fitness center with people on treadmills. So many treadmills you can’t see the end of it.

What can you do? If we’re all stuffing our lives this way, how do you do anything that gets noticed? How do you define success in a line-up of people all running in the same direction, yet going nowhere?

Margin.

On a sheet of standard notebook paper, there are a few inches of space reserved along the edges where the writer doesn’t write. I remember my elementary teacher guiding us, “Write your name in the margin.” If that space were not preserved for our names, it would have been much more difficult to discern which paper belonged to which student.

It is the same in our lives today. Sure there are going to be meetings to attend, traffic jams, paper jams, invoices to create, bills to pay, meetings to attend, paperwork to fill, inboxes to empty, dinner to make, dishes to clean and meetings to attend (let’s not get carried away). But there must be space reserved along the edges of life. This is where we can leave our unique signature.

What are you doing with your margins? Are you filling them up with other’s “stuff?” Are you letting others into your margins and giving them what should be your space? Or are you writing your name? Your way. Your signature.

Create the space to be uniquely you and claim your masterpiece.

We’ve talked about the difficulty in discerning your unique, personal brand.

Here’s an exercise that can help you see a snapshot of your life and/or career, and ultimately help you define the ‘Brand Called You’ (ala Tom Peters).

Post-It Note Timeline

First, you’ll need three colors of Post-It Notes. In this example, we’ll be using

Yellow

Red

and Blue

And you’ll also need a sheet of poster board. 11 x 17 inches is a good size, but you can make it smaller or larger depending on how much information you want on the board.

Step 1: Brain Dump

The first step is to write significant events from your life (or career) onto the yellow post-it notes. Don’t worry about following a pattern or order. We’ll deal with that next.

Step 2: Order

Now you should have a group of significant events to work with. Place your post-it notes on the poster board. Take time to add events, filter out irrelevant events, and/or put items into chronological order. You may start to see patterns emerge or related events in a grouping or repeated cycles throughout many years.

If you see ‘chapters’ emerging in your life, you may group those together into the same column or stop a column when a chapter ends.

Step 3: Seeing Red

Take anything that has negative connotations and transcribe it to a red post-it note.

Replace the yellow note on your board. Now you may notice periods which were difficult in your life. You may also notice how these negative events affected the events that followed (even beneficially at times).

Step 4: Lessons Learned

Now, look at each chapter of your life/career. Try and discern what overriding lesson you learned in that time. Write a summary or title of that lesson on a blue post-it note.

Then place the blue post-it notes below each chapter in your timeline.

Step 5: Share It

The final step is to share your story with others. If you’re married, you might try it on your spouse first. Otherwise, share it with a close friend or relative. They’ll be pretty honest with you about what they found interesting or what you left out (or should leave out next time).

The more you share your story with others, the more comfortable you will be sharing your life experiences and lessons with people.

In the end though, you should be able to see what events have shaped your life… helping you see your personal brand. One that is unique and incredible. Just like you.

Thanks to Dave Jewitt at Your One Degree for sending me this process.

Boldly be yourself!

Do you remember chasing anything as a kid?

… chasing friends while playing tag.
… chasing your pet dog as he was running away with the chew toy.
… chasing your dad around the house, eventually falling in a heap on the couch and ending in a tickle fight.

At some point, many of us grow out of chasing and sign up for the (rat)race instead. We…

… race to a job before others can beat us to it.
… race against our peers to get the better car, bigger house and “perfect family.”
… race against time to try and find significance before it passes us by.

Simply running a race lacks passion. What can you do to rediscover yours? Maybe you just forgot what you were chasing. Maybe you need to know your red rubber ball. “Discover your passion and chase it for a lifetime.” As Kevin Carroll says.

Before you can do that though, ask yourself the question. “Am I just running? Or am I chasing something?”

That’s a good (even if it’s scary) place to start.

Fear of failure is overrated.

We don’t care as much about failing as we care about being embarrassed.

Picture yourself on a baseball team. If there wasn’t a chance of losing the game, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting to play hardball. The mantra is, “Win as a team and lose as a team.” Still, no one wants to be the batter who watches strike three pass by or the infielder who fails to snag an easy grounder ala Bill Buckner. The embarrassment would simply be too much.

Now picture yourself on a business team. If every business decision made was guaranteed success, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. If your group doesn’t hit their numbers, hopefully you can absorb the hit, adjust and go on. Still, no one wants to be the one who launches an unconventional marketing campaign that fails to get a response, or the champion for the product that flops. The embarrassment would simply be too much.

Do you believe in something you haven’t acted on?  Is there something amazing stirring inside of you, but you quiet it because it scares you?

There are ideas and dreams inside of us, tied up by our fears and insecurities. Innovations and glorious endeavors never begun because we fear embarrassment as an individual.

We resign ourselves to “lose as a team” instead.

By the way, Bill Buckner was not a failure. Amazingly, he ended his (over 20 year) career just 285 hits shy of 3,000. This (near) milestone is so great, baseball enthusiasts created a term for it… The 3,000 Hit Club. Only 27 players achieved 3,000 hits, while still only 88 players reached 2,500 hits since the inception of the league in 1869.

Last night, I attended a meeting held by my daughter’s teacher. She was explaining the structure of the class and led us through some sample exercises she uses with the students.

Occasionally, she called upon us parents for volunteers to read or give answers.

I was stunned by the silence and awkward glances downward.

The teacher shared her observation that her students were much more eager to participate than their parents.

It gave me pause to wonder – why were we so hesitant to speak up, give answers… hesitant to take even the smallest risk?  Much has been said of our fear of failure, but failure was not the deciding factor here.  It’s not like our success would be dictated by how well we read “See Jane run.”

How come parents paused when our children would have eagerly spoken up?

I think somewhere between 3rd grade and our 3rd year of college, we have been beaten, chiseled, hardened and restrained by perpetual criticism.  We’re a cynical society.  We make snide remarks all the time about someone’s speech impediment, religious affiliation, choice of wardrobe or choice of friends.  The constant wear has made us paranoid… even as adults.

It’s obvious in politics.  Candidates like McCain, Palin, Obama and Biden know the very words they speak will be used in an attempt to hang them later.  But should they let the critics dictate their speeches, let alone their policies?

How about you?  Are you paranoid because of living among critics?  And how much power do you give them over your life?

More on this from Seth.

Hope you had a great November. I’m glad to be back on my blog. Something is wrong with previous comments. They disappeared. I’m trying to fix it. Is feexed.

During a recent lunch with a friend, he asked me, “What do you believe Dustin?”

I thought for a moment, then his cell phone rang. I was grateful for the time to ponder his question as he took the call.

There’s something powerful that happens when you ask yourself what you believe. The moment seemed filled with mystery and depth.

I realized this: I believe there is incredible, untapped potential inside each person. Most people never reach that potential. They are bound by something. Maybe a hurt, a habit or a false story they tell themselves over and over again.

I believe, at our core, we all desire to see that potential unleashed – yet on the surface it scares us to death.

We’re afraid of reaching that potential and then discovering it wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. I was rejected. I failed anyway.
We’re afraid of others reaching their potential also. What if he won’t need me anymore? Maybe others will think she’s better than me.

So, we bind them up.

I believe companies and organizations do this all the time. We create rules to a game we don’t even understand. Then we expect everyone else to follow them.

“You can’t move to that square, you don’t have seniority.”

I think we hire, promote and fire people for the wrong reasons.

I believe we condition people to be something they’re not… then reward them for it.

The word ’standardize’ makes me want to puke!

I believe there’s a way for people to be set free…

…and I believe it is worth the effort. Every bit of it.

Personal branding can be tricky. It’s difficult to see yourself objectively. It can be hard to judge yourself fairly without overestimating or underestimating your talent or ability. You’ve probably seen self-proclaimed ‘gurus’ who seem laughable, while more impressive people fail to give themselves any credit.

Formulating who you are is hard because it’s like the investigator trying to investigate himself. Biases and personal agendas cloud good judgment.

Try this when discerning your personal brand: Think in the third person.

View yourself from the outside, not the inside. See what others observe when they look at you. As you recall life events that affected the course of your life, replay them like scenes in a movie and yourself as a character. You may see something totally new you never noticed before.

I have an encounter I replay in my head occasionally. I’m embarrassed every time I think about the immature things I said to other people that day. By viewing the situation in third person, I see how that was an atypical day for me and I’ve grown since then. By recalling the scene in first person, I relive the feelings and perceptions I had that day – making me believe I still act that way.

This New York Times article describes how people see themselves differently when they view past events in the third person. Researchers see this as an important step in self discovery.

Seeing oneself as acting in a movie or a play is not merely fantasy or indulgence; it is fundamental to how people work out who it is they are, and may become.

“The idea that whoever appeared onstage would play not me but a character was central to imagining how to make the narrative: I would need to see myself from outside,” the writer Joan Didion has said of “The Year of Magical Thinking,” her autobiographical play about mourning the death of her husband and her daughter. “I would need to locate the dissonance between the person I thought I was and the person other people saw.”

This might be considered superficial or shallow. It’s not. Your internal perspective will still influence your external view of yourself. Seeing yourself in the third person will give you a more complete picture of who you are… and help you create a more complete personal brand.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way“

- Frank Sinatra, My Way

As popular as it is, I know there’s a lot of people who don’t like that song. They find it arrogant and self-centered. And, left to itself, I suppose it is.

But, isn’t there something inside you that says, “Yeah, that’s what I want.”?

I think we all have that. I also believe we were each created with a unique purpose in life. And if we truly seek out “our way” we will have to tap into that purpose we were given… not just selfish desires.

Very few of us do, though. Instead, we look for some sort of standardization to make us comfortable. What would a good business leader do in this circumstance? What would a good mom do here? What would a good husband say now?

We look to the generic.

We even ask “What would Jesus do?” or WWJD for short. Maybe asking this is a good step in the right direction toward finding a moral compass, but I don’t know what a first century carpenter would do about managing his email inbox or explaining the birds and the bees to his daughter.

Models, mentors and case studies are great. But it seems like we’re starving for a means of expressing “our way.” We personalize our iPods, coffee, t-shirts, Scions and stuffed animals. I think it’s because we’re living generic lives.

Have you ever asked, “How was I created to deliver this presentation?” Or “What talents and experience can I use to show my husband how much I love him?” Maybe you’ll choose a personal story over a PowerPoint slide. Or you’ll eschew the Hallmark card in favor of writing a song from your heart.

May you say, not in a shy way, you did it Your Way.

I love these 12 principles of self-leadership from Rosa Sayat Lifehacker.

This is my favorite

5. Learn to love ideas and experiments. Turn them into pilot programs that preface impulsive decisions. Everything was impossible until the first person did i

Management Impact
Wednesday, Feb 28th 2007
BMA Tulsa Luncheon (11:30 -1:00)

Jack Hayhow of Opus Communications

Focusing on the four key activities of all great managers, Jack will show how great managers provide employees what they need to increase productivity and profit.

Jack and his book, Wisdom of the Flying Pig, were featured on Brand Autopsy exactly one year ago today. (what are the odds?)

If you’re in the Tulsa area, RSVP for this event.

The Overlooked Marketing Edge
Thursday, March 1st 2007
2007 Entrepreneur Day Tradeshow (2:30 PM)

Dustin Staiger, Beyond Marketing & Advertising

I’ll be speaking during Entrepreneur Day at the Claremore Expo Center next Thursday. I’ll cover how businesses (especially small businesses and startups) overlook an important channel when addressing their marketing. Everyone knows about it, but few know they can affect it.

If you’re interested in attending Entrepreneur Day, contact Rick Reimer at (918) 671-3011.

If you’re in the areas of Tulsa / Oklahoma City / Kansas City / Bentonville, AR / Springfield, MO… you’ll want to attend this annual seminar:

BMA Tulsa’s Annual Seminar

Business Coaches Clinic: Winning as Individuals and Organizations
Friday March 30th
9:00 AM – 4:15 PM
OSU-Tulsa

Mark your calendars for March 30th!

We’re very excited about the 2007 BMA Tulsa Seminar, featuring Dr. Jay Kent Ferraro and Michael Wagner. The catered keynote luncheon presentation will be given by Rick Couri of KRMG.

The Engaged Organization

Mike Wagner , White Rabbit Group

Mike Wagner is Founder & President of White Rabbit Group – an organization committed to help groups find innovation and new possibilities from an unlikely source… themselves! Mike will give some great coaching tips for your business team to break out of the rut, get unstuck, and see how far they can follow the “white rabbit.”

Mike also authors a marketing blog – Own Your Brand, and regularly contributes to MarketingProfs, an online “webzine” of marketing expertise.

The Emotionally Intelligent Leader

Dr. Jay Kent Ferraro, Empowerment Technologies

Dr. Jay is the Founder of Empowerment Technologies – a national executive coaching, training and consulting firm in Tulsa, OK. Dr. Jay’s expertise in Emotional Intelligence is being used in Fortune 500 companies across the country. He will share how emotionally competent people create success for their organizations. It’s no longer about how smart you are (IQ), but how you are smart (EQ).

Registration information will be available soon. Contact me for more information.

We’re on the lookout for wolves.

You know… back-stabbers, saboteurs, spies and just plain evil-doers.

We suspect they’re among us. The wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But there’s something much more dangerous in our midst, also masquerading as sheep.

This “silent killer” of companies is much harder to find than the wolf. He wears the disguise well, even fooling himself. Her mission is so well embedded, if she doesn’t kill the company she most surely kills herself – her future.

This assassin might be you.

It is not the wolf you should fear, instead you should be looking for the PEOPLE in sheep’s clothing.

These are the people who are sheepwalking (thanks Seth) – mindlessly staying in line and feeling as though they’re “doing their job.” This is the cashier at Walgreen’s telling me I can’t purchase a giftcard with my credit card, but not knowing why. Worse yet, it’s the manager telling me the same thing – “It’s just our policy. That’s what they [corporate] told me.”

It’s the pilot not fighting orders to keep passengers on the tarmac. Even after he realizes he is close to having a mutiny of passengers on his hands. He knows they’re much less likely to fly his airline next time, but he’s just “doing his job.”

What a far cry from Southwest’s interpretation of the golden rule:

Treat others the way you want to be treated

Answer every letter
Call back
Bend the rules
Do the right thing
Find ways to say yes
Treat with respect

This is an excerpt from a wonderful luncheon presentation I recently attended. Kris Holt and Scott Moore of Southwest Airlines came and spoke to our marketing association in Tulsa, OK.

Look at that list again.

Bend the rules? Find ways to say “Yes”?

Are you doing that?

Better yet, are you building a culture that encourages it?

Stop pulling the wool over your employees’ eyes. Stop pulling it over your own.

If I asked you to name a brand you might mention Coca-Cola, Nike, Apple, or Starbucks.

But what is a brand? It’s not just a logo.

I could create a logo just like Apple’s. But it doesn’t mean my company will instantly be successful.

The brand isn’t just the product. The annals of business are littered with better products which lost to the “inferior.”

The brand isn’t even the experience. Uh oh, I might have lost some of you here. I know it is popular to equate the brand with the experience. But what creates that experience? Better asked, who creates that experience?

People.

People are the genesis of the brand. The logo represents them… it’s their signature. People create the product. People inspire the experience.

It may seem like an obvious truth, but we act as though this is obscure.

We forget it as we make hiring decisions based on paper and cloth. We are persuaded by diplomas, certificates, resumes, and a snappy suit. What about the person, his passions, her personality? Do his values align with the organizational culture? Will she take the risks necessary to grow and enhance herself and the company?

We forget it as we make decisions based on “the market.” We peddle ourselves to a nameless, faceless crowd. We speak to them in generalities from a podium, instead of specifics across the dining room table.

Lately, the concept of personal branding has been very hot. It seems like such a jump from corporate branding. It shouldn’t be.

Because corporately, or individually… it’s all about PEOPLE.

The race for Lieutenant Governor in Oklahoma was an interesting race. It was especially interesting for me because the Republican candidate Todd Hiett hails from my original hometown of Kellyville, OK. Todd is a little bit older than me, but in a town that size (population of about 1,000) you can’t help but know everyone else. So I knew him as I grew up.

Todd had some very well produced commercials. Resonating voice overs, saturated and soft film clips, sharp graphics, and a carefully chosen catch phrase (Steps to the future).

So, why did he lose the race?

I could delve into his political platform or how the issues were framed. But honestly, I don’t think that is where the race was lost.

I believe the race was lost at the same moment Todd lost his humanity. Through these professional ads, he (or more likely his campaign advisors) traded his humanity in for celebrity status. Meanwhile his opponent came off as the aunt who always brings your favorite cookies to Thanksgiving dinner. Approachable.

Like I said, I know where Todd comes from. Kellyville is a small town. Very quaint. The people there are proud to have the House Majority Leader as a citizen. They’d be even prouder of a Lieutenant Governor. Yet, we never saw the pride on their faces. We never heard the story of a small town boy making a difference in his great state (ala Clinton from Hope, Arkansas).

Instead, we heard about tax cuts. We were told marriage is a union between a man and a woman. We were reminded how he helped balance the budget.

As this race drew to a close with Hiett lagging behind Askins, I couldn’t help but think about a Rick Warren quote referenced by Bert Decker (via John Moore of Brand Autopsy).

Celebrities vs. Heroes – Rick said we need fewer celebrities and more heroes. Celebrities sacrifice to gain success for themselves. Heroes sacrifice for others.

I would go further and say we need fallible heroes. We need more Peter Parkers (Spiderman) and fewer Clark Kents (Superman). As the Wizard of Ads Roy Williams puts it (hat tip: Bill Kinnon):

Baby Boomers were idealists who worshipped heroes, perfect icons of beauty and success. Today these icons are seen as phony, posed and laughable. Our cool as ice, suave lady’s man James Bond has become the comic poser Austin Powers or the tragically flawed and vulnerable Jason Bourne of The Bourne Identity. That’s the essence of the new worldview; the rejection of delusion, a quiet demand for gritty truth. We’re seeing it reflected in our movies, our television shows and our music.

Once again, it comes back to the people brand. I think this will continue to frame politicians, businesses, churches, and causes. What is your ‘people brand’? Celebrity or hero?

Earlier this week I mentioned this was possibly Seth’s most important post.

Why do I say that?  Because as a society, we allow others to define success.  So we end up striving hard and sacrificing much in order to acheive someone else’s definition of success.  Living for too little a goal.

My take on life is we each have our own measuring stick. This is true of businesses as well.  If you’re adopting your definition of success from another person or adopting your company’s from the competition… you’ll probably fail even if you “succeed.”

This week, I heard the story of a man in our church.  I’ve known him for a while.  I have always been amazed by his involvement in leading others in the church and being involved in their lives.  He seems very successful in many ways, including busienss.  What I discovered this week was he capped his lifestyle early.  He owns his own business and now only works 20 hours a week.  The rest of his time is spent on his family and in ministry.

He has a different definition of success than many businessmen.

What’s the measuring stick you back your heels up to?  Tiptoeing and stretching in order to feel tall?  Have you ever wondered if being tall equals success?