Category Archives: Personal Brand

Living Among Critics

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Last night, I attended a meeting held by my daughter’s teacher. She was explaining the structure of the class and led us through some sample exercises she uses with the students.

Occasionally, she called upon us parents for volunteers to read or give answers.

I was stunned by the silence and awkward glances downward.

The teacher shared her observation that her students were much more eager to participate than their parents.

It gave me pause to wonder – why were we so hesitant to speak up, give answers… hesitant to take even the smallest risk?  Much has been said of our fear of failure, but failure was not the deciding factor here.  It’s not like our success would be dictated by how well we read “See Jane run.”

How come parents paused when our children would have eagerly spoken up?

I think somewhere between 3rd grade and our 3rd year of college, we have been beaten, chiseled, hardened and restrained by perpetual criticism.  We’re a cynical society.  We make snide remarks all the time about someone’s speech impediment, religious affiliation, choice of wardrobe or choice of friends.  The constant wear has made us paranoid… even as adults.

It’s obvious in politics.  Candidates like McCain, Palin, Obama and Biden know the very words they speak will be used in an attempt to hang them later.  But should they let the critics dictate their speeches, let alone their policies?

How about you?  Are you paranoid because of living among critics?  And how much power do you give them over your life?

More on this from Seth.

Potential

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Hope you had a great November. I’m glad to be back on my blog. Something is wrong with previous comments. They disappeared. I’m trying to fix it. Is feexed.

During a recent lunch with a friend, he asked me, “What do you believe Dustin?”

I thought for a moment, then his cell phone rang. I was grateful for the time to ponder his question as he took the call.

There’s something powerful that happens when you ask yourself what you believe. The moment seemed filled with mystery and depth.

I realized this: I believe there is incredible, untapped potential inside each person. Most people never reach that potential. They are bound by something. Maybe a hurt, a habit or a false story they tell themselves over and over again.

I believe, at our core, we all desire to see that potential unleashed – yet on the surface it scares us to death.

We’re afraid of reaching that potential and then discovering it wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. I was rejected. I failed anyway.
We’re afraid of others reaching their potential also. What if he won’t need me anymore? Maybe others will think she’s better than me.

So, we bind them up.

I believe companies and organizations do this all the time. We create rules to a game we don’t even understand. Then we expect everyone else to follow them.

“You can’t move to that square, you don’t have seniority.”

I think we hire, promote and fire people for the wrong reasons.

I believe we condition people to be something they’re not… then reward them for it.

The word ‘standardize’ makes me want to puke!

I believe there’s a way for people to be set free…

…and I believe it is worth the effort. Every bit of it.

Branding in the Third Person

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Reflection

Personal branding can be tricky. It’s difficult to see yourself objectively. It can be hard to judge yourself fairly without overestimating or underestimating your talent or ability. You’ve probably seen self-proclaimed ‘gurus’ who seem laughable, while more impressive people fail to give themselves any credit.

Formulating who you are is hard because it’s like the investigator trying to investigate himself. Biases and personal agendas cloud good judgment.

Try this when discerning your personal brand: Think in the third person.

View yourself from the outside, not the inside. See what others observe when they look at you. As you recall life events that affected the course of your life, replay them like scenes in a movie and yourself as a character. You may see something totally new you never noticed before.

I have an encounter I replay in my head occasionally. I’m embarrassed every time I think about the immature things I said to other people that day. By viewing the situation in third person, I see how that was an atypical day for me and I’ve grown since then. By recalling the scene in first person, I relive the feelings and perceptions I had that day – making me believe I still act that way.

This New York Times article describes how people see themselves differently when they view past events in the third person. Researchers see this as an important step in self discovery.

Seeing oneself as acting in a movie or a play is not merely fantasy or indulgence; it is fundamental to how people work out who it is they are, and may become.

“The idea that whoever appeared onstage would play not me but a character was central to imagining how to make the narrative: I would need to see myself from outside,” the writer Joan Didion has said of “The Year of Magical Thinking,” her autobiographical play about mourning the death of her husband and her daughter. “I would need to locate the dissonance between the person I thought I was and the person other people saw.”

This might be considered superficial or shallow. It’s not. Your internal perspective will still influence your external view of yourself. Seeing yourself in the third person will give you a more complete picture of who you are… and help you create a more complete personal brand.

Battling the Generic Brand

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WWDPD

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way“

- Frank Sinatra, My Way

As popular as it is, I know there’s a lot of people who don’t like that song. They find it arrogant and self-centered. And, left to itself, I suppose it is.

But, isn’t there something inside you that says, “Yeah, that’s what I want.”?

I think we all have that. I also believe we were each created with a unique purpose in life. And if we truly seek out “our way” we will have to tap into that purpose we were given… not just selfish desires.

Very few of us do, though. Instead, we look for some sort of standardization to make us comfortable. What would a good business leader do in this circumstance? What would a good mom do here? What would a good husband say now?

We look to the generic.

We even ask “What would Jesus do?” or WWJD for short. Maybe asking this is a good step in the right direction toward finding a moral compass, but I don’t know what a first century carpenter would do about managing his email inbox or explaining the birds and the bees to his daughter.

Models, mentors and case studies are great. But it seems like we’re starving for a means of expressing “our way.” We personalize our iPods, coffee, t-shirts, Scions and stuffed animals. I think it’s because we’re living generic lives.

Have you ever asked, “How was I created to deliver this presentation?” Or “What talents and experience can I use to show my husband how much I love him?” Maybe you’ll choose a personal story over a PowerPoint slide. Or you’ll eschew the Hallmark card in favor of writing a song from your heart.

May you say, not in a shy way, you did it Your Way.

Tulsa Marketing Events of Interest

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Management Impact
Wednesday, Feb 28th 2007
BMA Tulsa Luncheon (11:30 -1:00)
Jack Hayhow
Jack Hayhow of Opus Communications

Focusing on the four key activities of all great managers, Jack will show how great managers provide employees what they need to increase productivity and profit.

Jack and his book, Wisdom of the Flying Pig, were featured on Brand Autopsy exactly one year ago today. (what are the odds?)

If you’re in the Tulsa area, RSVP for this event.

The Overlooked Marketing Edge
Thursday, March 1st 2007
2007 Entrepreneur Day Tradeshow (2:30 PM)
Dustin
Dustin Staiger, Beyond Marketing & Advertising

I’ll be speaking during Entrepreneur Day at the Claremore Expo Center next Thursday. I’ll cover how businesses (especially small businesses and startups) overlook an important channel when addressing their marketing. Everyone knows about it, but few know they can affect it.

If you’re interested in attending Entrepreneur Day, contact Rick Reimer at (918) 671-3011.

If you’re in the areas of Tulsa / Oklahoma City / Kansas City / Bentonville, AR / Springfield, MO… you’ll want to attend this annual seminar:

BMA Tulsa’s Annual Seminar

Business Coaches Clinic: Winning as Individuals and Organizations
 Friday March 30th
9:00 AM – 4:15 PM
OSU-Tulsa

Mark your calendars for March 30th!

We’re very excited about the 2007 BMA Tulsa Seminar, featuring Dr. Jay Kent Ferraro and Michael Wagner. The catered keynote luncheon presentation will be given by Rick Couri of KRMG.

The Engaged Organization

Mike Wagner , White Rabbit Group

Mike Wagner is Founder & President of White Rabbit Group – an organization committed to help groups find innovation and new possibilities from an unlikely source… themselves! Mike will give some great coaching tips for your business team to break out of the rut, get unstuck, and see how far they can follow the “white rabbit.”

Mike also authors a marketing blog – Own Your Brand, and regularly contributes to MarketingProfs, an online “webzine” of marketing expertise.

The Emotionally Intelligent Leader


Dr. Jay Kent Ferraro, Empowerment Technologies

Dr. Jay is the Founder of Empowerment Technologies – a national executive coaching, training and consulting firm in Tulsa, OK. Dr. Jay’s expertise in Emotional Intelligence is being used in Fortune 500 companies across the country. He will share how emotionally competent people create success for their organizations. It’s no longer about how smart you are (IQ), but how you are smart (EQ).

Registration information will be available soon. Contact me for more information.

In Sheep’s Clothing

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We’re on the lookout for wolves.

You know… back-stabbers, saboteurs, spies and just plain evil-doers.

We suspect they’re among us. The wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But there’s something much more dangerous in our midst, also masquerading as sheep.

This “silent killer” of companies is much harder to find than the wolf. He wears the disguise well, even fooling himself. Her mission is so well embedded, if she doesn’t kill the company she most surely kills herself – her future.

This assassin might be you.

It is not the wolf you should fear, instead you should be looking for the PEOPLE in sheep’s clothing.

These are the people who are sheepwalking (thanks Seth) – mindlessly staying in line and feeling as though they’re “doing their job.” This is the cashier at Walgreen’s telling me I can’t purchase a giftcard with my credit card, but not knowing why. Worse yet, it’s the manager telling me the same thing – “It’s just our policy. That’s what they [corporate] told me.”

It’s the pilot not fighting orders to keep passengers on the tarmac. Even after he realizes he is close to having a mutiny of passengers on his hands. He knows they’re much less likely to fly his airline next time, but he’s just “doing his job.”

What a far cry from Southwest’s interpretation of the golden rule:

Treat others the way you want to be treated

Answer every letter
Call back
Bend the rules
Do the right thing
Find ways to say yes
Treat with respect

This is an excerpt from a wonderful luncheon presentation I recently attended. Kris Holt and Scott Moore of Southwest Airlines came and spoke to our marketing association in Tulsa, OK.

Look at that list again.

Bend the rules? Find ways to say “Yes”?

Are you doing that?

Better yet, are you building a culture that encourages it?

Stop pulling the wool over your employees’ eyes. Stop pulling it over your own.