Casual Fridays

We’ve talked about the difficulty in discerning your unique, personal brand.

Here’s an exercise that can help you see a snapshot of your life and/or career, and ultimately help you define the ‘Brand Called You’ (ala Tom Peters).

Post-It Note Timeline

First, you’ll need three colors of Post-It Notes. In this example, we’ll be using

Yellow

Red

and Blue

And you’ll also need a sheet of poster board. 11 x 17 inches is a good size, but you can make it smaller or larger depending on how much information you want on the board.

Step 1: Brain Dump

The first step is to write significant events from your life (or career) onto the yellow post-it notes. Don’t worry about following a pattern or order. We’ll deal with that next.

Step 2: Order

Now you should have a group of significant events to work with. Place your post-it notes on the poster board. Take time to add events, filter out irrelevant events, and/or put items into chronological order. You may start to see patterns emerge or related events in a grouping or repeated cycles throughout many years.

If you see ‘chapters’ emerging in your life, you may group those together into the same column or stop a column when a chapter ends.

Step 3: Seeing Red

Take anything that has negative connotations and transcribe it to a red post-it note.

Replace the yellow note on your board. Now you may notice periods which were difficult in your life. You may also notice how these negative events affected the events that followed (even beneficially at times).

Step 4: Lessons Learned

Now, look at each chapter of your life/career. Try and discern what overriding lesson you learned in that time. Write a summary or title of that lesson on a blue post-it note.

Then place the blue post-it notes below each chapter in your timeline.

Step 5: Share It

The final step is to share your story with others. If you’re married, you might try it on your spouse first. Otherwise, share it with a close friend or relative. They’ll be pretty honest with you about what they found interesting or what you left out (or should leave out next time).

The more you share your story with others, the more comfortable you will be sharing your life experiences and lessons with people.

In the end though, you should be able to see what events have shaped your life… helping you see your personal brand. One that is unique and incredible. Just like you.

Thanks to Dave Jewitt at Your One Degree for sending me this process.

Boldly be yourself!

Do you remember chasing anything as a kid?

… chasing friends while playing tag.
… chasing your pet dog as he was running away with the chew toy.
… chasing your dad around the house, eventually falling in a heap on the couch and ending in a tickle fight.

At some point, many of us grow out of chasing and sign up for the (rat)race instead. We…

… race to a job before others can beat us to it.
… race against our peers to get the better car, bigger house and “perfect family.”
… race against time to try and find significance before it passes us by.

Simply running a race lacks passion. What can you do to rediscover yours? Maybe you just forgot what you were chasing. Maybe you need to know your red rubber ball. “Discover your passion and chase it for a lifetime.” As Kevin Carroll says.

Before you can do that though, ask yourself the question. “Am I just running? Or am I chasing something?”

That’s a good (even if it’s scary) place to start.

Fear of failure is overrated.

We don’t care as much about failing as we care about being embarrassed.

Picture yourself on a baseball team. If there wasn’t a chance of losing the game, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting to play hardball. The mantra is, “Win as a team and lose as a team.” Still, no one wants to be the batter who watches strike three pass by or the infielder who fails to snag an easy grounder ala Bill Buckner. The embarrassment would simply be too much.

Now picture yourself on a business team. If every business decision made was guaranteed success, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. If your group doesn’t hit their numbers, hopefully you can absorb the hit, adjust and go on. Still, no one wants to be the one who launches an unconventional marketing campaign that fails to get a response, or the champion for the product that flops. The embarrassment would simply be too much.

Do you believe in something you haven’t acted on?  Is there something amazing stirring inside of you, but you quiet it because it scares you?

There are ideas and dreams inside of us, tied up by our fears and insecurities. Innovations and glorious endeavors never begun because we fear embarrassment as an individual.

We resign ourselves to “lose as a team” instead.

By the way, Bill Buckner was not a failure. Amazingly, he ended his (over 20 year) career just 285 hits shy of 3,000. This (near) milestone is so great, baseball enthusiasts created a term for it… The 3,000 Hit Club. Only 27 players achieved 3,000 hits, while still only 88 players reached 2,500 hits since the inception of the league in 1869.

There are two models of communication at play today.

Conspiracy or Collaboration

There are times when conspiracy is a necessary evil. Most of the time though, conspiracy is a detriment to our relationships. It limits us and pits us against one another.

Which do you use in your business?

… in your church?

… with your friends and family?

I’m a bit of an art geek. My minor in college was art history. So, being in Chicago, I couldn’t pass up visiting the Art Institute of Chicago. I’m also a cheapskate. So, a free visit was absolutely irresistible!

I was blown away to walk into the impressionist exhibit and see Seurat’s “Sunday In The Park” welcoming me.

My camera decided to experiment in pointilism in honor of Seurat. We couldn’t use the flash in order to preserve the painting. I thoroughly enjoyed the visit. It’s not everyday I get to view works by Seurat, Van Gogh, Gaugin, Renoir, Monet, Rembrandt, Peter Paul Rubens and Degas. There is nothing like seeing these masterworks in person!

To take a complete left turn, here is a pic from our return trip home. After loading up on Sliders from White Castle and Blizzards from Dairy Queen, I found the juxtaposition of these two signs to be quite humorous.

Upon getting back to Tulsa, I had a few “divine moments” last week. One at Panera and one at Ted’s Cafe Escondido.

While meeting with my coworker Lisa, I looked up and exclaimed, “Oh, there’s Jesus!” Here’s what I saw:

A closeup:

Reference image:

Ted’s Café Escondido is one of our favorite restaurants. The food is wonderful, but so is the service. Now we know why. By looking at our comment card, you can see the servers get a little help.

Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries…

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh

A friend shared the poem above with me recently. I had heard it before. In fact, I had memorized it. Still, I had forgotten the principle within it: Find Beauty!

Sounds too simple and obvious, doesn’t it? But think about this a moment.

We’re Busy

We all admit we live in an accelerating culture.

As society continues to speed up, it becomes increasingly difficult to pause long enough to see the beauty around us. We don’t have time to pluck blackberries, let alone notice a burning bush.

In April of 2007, The Washington Post performed a test. They set out a burning bush to see who would notice it. You may have seen the story or the video of the event. World-renowned violinist Joshua Bell performed some of the greatest music ever composed, playing a $3.5 million violin. 1,100 people passed him. A few dozen noticed him. Beauty was overlooked in favor of rush hour.

Beauty is Hard to See During Ugly Times

Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin was among the first British soldiers to liberate the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1945. While waiting an excessive number of days for relief supplies to arrive, he witnessed droves of former prisoners continuing to die. They needed food, water and medical supplies. Instead, the first shipment they received was a very large quantity of lipstick. Here is the account from his diary:

I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.

History has recorded few things as ugly as the Holocaust. Yet, something as simple as lipstick brought beauty (not just the cosmetic variety) to an ugly tragedy.

Maybe you, or someone you know, are in the midst of some pretty ugly stuff. Beauty is easy to see when life is good. But what about when it is hard or painful? Is there something simple, which can bring an element of beauty into the camp? You may be surprised how little things can make a huge impact.

Find a Guide

I attended an arts conference at Willow Creek last year. Dewitt Jones was one of my favorite speakers. A photographer for National Geographic, he talked about doing what you love… or sometimes loving what you do.

He traveled all over the world for National Geographic. When he arrived someplace foreign to him, he would find a guide. Not a guide to show him around. “Those were easy to find.” He said. He found guides who were in love with the area, because they had something to share: their own unique stories.

Maybe you have a hard time finding beauty. Find a guide. They will help you see the beauty which surrounds you. The bush afire with God.

May you find that earth is indeed crammed with heaven.

In your house you may have a room that is your favorite. Maybe it’s just a corner of the room. It’s where you enjoy sitting and spending time. When you’re there, everything just seems right. You experience peace, joy, comfort and encouragement when you’re there.Maybe it’s the decor, the lighting, the furniture or the music which makes this place special. It is a place of inspiration and motivation for you.

Your room may not be a room at all. It might be a restaurant or a park. It may be a movie or artwork. It may be a person.

You may not go into this room every day, but there’s comfort in knowing it is there when you want or need it. The hardest part is when you no longer can go to your room. Something happens and you lose a special place in your life.

On February 12th, the door to my room was shut. Never to be opened again.

My friend, mentor, spiritual guide and role model, John Kilgore, was unexpectedly removed from my life and the lives of others who loved him deeply.

John was unmatched, the utmost example of expressing love and compassion to those around him. He was famous, even infamous, for his unlimited and enveloping hugs. He had a special gift of making whomever he spoke with feel as though they were the most important person in the world to him in that moment. He desperately wanted people to know they were loved.

John taught me to sing… to worship. He taught me to see beauty in God’s creation: mountains, trees, flowers, sunsets… and people. He taught me how to love people with intensity and genuine compassion. He showed me how to bring the best out of those around me.

John was my first example of how to be an artistic man of God. I was desperate for that. My biggest regret was never sharing that with him.

So, what does this mean to you? You may have never met John. My tribute may not strike home with you. I hope you leave with this. Enjoy the rooms of beauty in your life. Never take them for granted. Soak them up and add your own beauty to theirs.

You never know when the door may close.

John visiting us at the hospital upon the birth of my first son.

John, you changed my life. Thank you for loving me and my family. Thank you for making our lives full of beauty. We miss you greatly.

Hope you had a great November. I’m glad to be back on my blog. Something is wrong with previous comments. They disappeared. I’m trying to fix it. Is feexed.

During a recent lunch with a friend, he asked me, “What do you believe Dustin?”

I thought for a moment, then his cell phone rang. I was grateful for the time to ponder his question as he took the call.

There’s something powerful that happens when you ask yourself what you believe. The moment seemed filled with mystery and depth.

I realized this: I believe there is incredible, untapped potential inside each person. Most people never reach that potential. They are bound by something. Maybe a hurt, a habit or a false story they tell themselves over and over again.

I believe, at our core, we all desire to see that potential unleashed – yet on the surface it scares us to death.

We’re afraid of reaching that potential and then discovering it wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. I was rejected. I failed anyway.
We’re afraid of others reaching their potential also. What if he won’t need me anymore? Maybe others will think she’s better than me.

So, we bind them up.

I believe companies and organizations do this all the time. We create rules to a game we don’t even understand. Then we expect everyone else to follow them.

“You can’t move to that square, you don’t have seniority.”

I think we hire, promote and fire people for the wrong reasons.

I believe we condition people to be something they’re not… then reward them for it.

The word ’standardize’ makes me want to puke!

I believe there’s a way for people to be set free…

…and I believe it is worth the effort. Every bit of it.

One of our children broke an arm two weeks ago (hence the missing post that Friday). As people found out about it, I heard many stories about how they or their children had similar experiences. After having these stories shared with me, I felt a sense of fraternity with a new group of people. It reminded me of something I posted on my first blog, which wasn’t about marketing or business… just life. I thought I’d re-post it here today:

Scars

The other day I was shaving and ouch!! I cut my chin. I looked in the mirror and realized that I cut myself because of a scar. The skin was raised a bit by the scar and the blade just nicked it. This scar was the result of an incident when I was two or three years old. While running through my grandma’s kitchen, I tripped and bust my chin open on her linoleum floor. Most people don’t even know I have a scar on my chin. It is on the bottom of the ball of my chin and isn’t noticeable unless I raise my lower lip upward dramatically. I don’t even notice it very often. I hadn’t thought about it in ages, yet it was still there waiting for a hasty blade to bring it to my attention.

We all have scars. Some are from childhood incidents like mine. Others are even harder to see. They’re emotional, psychological, or spiritual. Nevertheless, they are still scars and they wait for some hasty action, ill-spoken word, or reminder of the past to reveal them.

As a volunteer drama director I see this happen occasionally with actors. We will be working on a scene and something triggers an emotion… the actor loses it. We usually take a break and I talk with the actor. Often, something in the scene or about the character revealed something to actor about his/herself. Not surprising since that is what most writers attempt to do. They want people to relate and respond to the story and/or the characters.

My wife Tammy and I were watching Message in a Bottle one evening. Although it is a rather drab movie with suspect acting, there was a moment that shot me to pieces. (Warning: Possible spoiler if you haven’t seen the movie.) One of the characters receives a phone call to find out that a loved one was killed in an accident. On the surface this seems like nothing incredible. This happens in other movies. This time though, I fell apart. The phone call reminded me of one I had received a few months before. A call telling me two friends of ours had died in a plane accident. The scar was reopened without warning and quite abruptly.

What do we do? We can’t walk on eggshells around everyone worrying that we might unwittingly tear open what time has worked so hard to heal. This would paralyze our ability to communicate and ultimately connect with people.

The best answer I have comes from Lethal Weapon 3 (not a typical fount of wisdom, but give me a moment).  There is a scene in this movie where Mel Gibson and Renee Russo’s characters start showing their scars to each other. They take it to extremes by beginning to disrobe, but that’s beside the point. They share their stories through these scars. This is where they fall for each other. Why? Because he relates to her. She understands where he’s been. They connect. What if that’s the point?

What if we have the scars so we can share them with others? So we can relate to one another. Sharing our hurt and hopefully our healing with people who may have similar stories of their own. It’s hard. There’s a fear that people may be disgusted by our scars or maybe they will reopen the wound somehow. That fear however, should not impede us from sharing with the right people at the right moment.

It may be worth a nick on the chin to engage someone’s heart.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way“

- Frank Sinatra, My Way

As popular as it is, I know there’s a lot of people who don’t like that song. They find it arrogant and self-centered. And, left to itself, I suppose it is.

But, isn’t there something inside you that says, “Yeah, that’s what I want.”?

I think we all have that. I also believe we were each created with a unique purpose in life. And if we truly seek out “our way” we will have to tap into that purpose we were given… not just selfish desires.

Very few of us do, though. Instead, we look for some sort of standardization to make us comfortable. What would a good business leader do in this circumstance? What would a good mom do here? What would a good husband say now?

We look to the generic.

We even ask “What would Jesus do?” or WWJD for short. Maybe asking this is a good step in the right direction toward finding a moral compass, but I don’t know what a first century carpenter would do about managing his email inbox or explaining the birds and the bees to his daughter.

Models, mentors and case studies are great. But it seems like we’re starving for a means of expressing “our way.” We personalize our iPods, coffee, t-shirts, Scions and stuffed animals. I think it’s because we’re living generic lives.

Have you ever asked, “How was I created to deliver this presentation?” Or “What talents and experience can I use to show my husband how much I love him?” Maybe you’ll choose a personal story over a PowerPoint slide. Or you’ll eschew the Hallmark card in favor of writing a song from your heart.

May you say, not in a shy way, you did it Your Way.

A little Thursday update because I don’t know if I’ll blog tomorrow.

Just got out of Kem Meyer’s session Got Blog?

It was a great session. Yes, some of the material was basic, but that’s what the session description stated. Still, she shared some great advice to bloggers – novice and veteran alike. Also, I met some other bloggers and we shared ideas with each other.

Another benefit was discovering Kem and her blog. With all of our shared interests, I was surprised we hadn’t crossed paths before. Goes to show sometimes analog still trumps digital.
It has been a great experience here at Willow. I haven’t enjoyed everything, but everything isn’t about me. I’ll probably begin unpacking some of the lessons learned from people like Dewitt Jones, Nancy Beach, Dan Kimball and Donald Miller later.

It’s fascinating stuff and dovetails so tightly with what is occurring in marketing today concerning authenticity, creativity, stories and relevance.

More to come.

This isn’t as profound as the title suggests.
Next week, I’m attending a Chicago conference with a team from Liberty Church in Broken Arrow, OK.   It’s the Arts Conference at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago’s suburb of South Barrington, IL.

This will be my third time to attend one of their Arts Conferences.  It’s always refreshing and energizing.  I can’t wait to come back with stories about my heart and mind were opened to something bigger than I anticipated.

Faith and art have always been central to my identity.  I have long considered myself both a Christian and an artist.  So, this conference strikes the sweet spot.

I’m not sure what my time and Internet connection situation will be next Friday.  If I have the opportunity to blog from Chicago, I will.

Sometimes, death surrounds us. Like the slow, innevitable death of a dream. Maybe it’s the painful death of a relationship with someone you cared for deeply. It could simply be the death of passion for anything in your life… including your career.

This weekend carries with it a beautiful story of redemption and renewing. The story of the Resurrection isn’t just powerful because it happened then. It is also powerful because it happens today.

Maybe there’s a “rebirth” that can happen in your life. Rebirth brings us back to the beginning. So, think back to the start. The start of your dream. The beginning of your job. The initial moments of that relationship. What was there? Can you get that back?

Can that stone be rolled away, and the tomb be opened?

I think you know who to ask.

Sorry I didn’t have time to make this shorter.

After being tagged by both John Grant and Spike (who both have GREAT blogs – check ‘em out), I’m way late in getting this done. We’re going through some exciting changes at our fledgling agency. Since I merged my consulting practice with Sandy’s agency, I have been very reactive. Getting on top of stuff now (thank goodness) and will probably be blogging a bit more.

John and Spike tagged me to continue a blog meme discussing 5 things you don’t know about me. Here we go.

1. I grew up in a grocery store.

I wasn’t raised by a pack of wolves, I was raised by a 6-pack of Dr. Pepper. Actually, my grandparents owned the local grocery store in Kellyville, OK. The store was sort of a local mercantile. You could go to Staiger’s Grocery and buy food, hardware, automotive parts, plumbing supplies, and even feed for your cattle.

My father was the store manager and my mom was the produce manager. The store was about 3 blocks from school. Sometimes I would walk to school from the grocery store when my dad took me to work in the morning, and I usually walked to the grocery store after school – waiting for my mom to get off work at 5 PM. I spent many hours reading comic books in front of the magazine rack or playing tape-ball in the store warehouse.

2. I began my career as an illustrator.

Maybe it was all those years of reading comic books. I have drawn every since I can remember using a pencil or crayon. I remember being 4 years old, drawing a picture and asking my mom how to spell my name so I could sign my masterpiece.

I won some art show awards in high school. I was elated to take Best of Show my senior year. Mr. Chinoweth, the high school art instructor, was a huge encouragement to me. He’s one of the reasons I stuck with art.

While at Oklahoma State University, I majored in graphic design with an emphasis in illustration (they didn’t have an illustration degree). Carey Hissey was my illustration instructor and my favorite by far.

After graduation, I began illustrating for magazines and book publishers. After a few years, I found the isolation of freelance illustration (and the tiny paychecks) losing it’s luster and began to work for some agencies in Tulsa, OK.

3. I auditioned for The Apprentice.

The Apprentice held auditions in Oklahoma City a few years ago. I felt confident in my creativity and business sense, so I figured it was worth a shot. I felt like I did pretty well.

They do group “auditions” where they give a controversial topic and let everyone debate chaotically. I decided to let both sides be presented, point out both sides’ flaws, and give a third perspective as a solution. Each time, the room became quiet and I seemed to give the final answer.

I was voted project manager by our group in the end. But I never got a call for the next round. I’m guessing I was too diplomatic. “Diplomatic” isn’t good for TV.

4. My solo song has been released.

Actually, it was released 8 years ago. Our church recorded an album as a tribute to the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. My solo is a song called “We Are United.” It’s not bad, but don’t expect to see me on American Idol.

5. Mo’ drama, mo’ drama, mo’ drama.

I’ve been involved in drama since junior high school. Back then, my best friend and I were awarded the “Steven Spielberg” award for creativity in drama.

In high school, I won local and district competitions with a dramatic duet (a scene from The Rainmaker). We went on to state competition with it.

In college, I performed works of Shakespeare as Hamlet and Henry V. I also performed with a drama and music group that ministered to prisons and youth shelters.

I have led drama ministry at our church (Liberty Church in Broken Arrow, OK), but left that role recently. I still write scripts and direct occasionally for dramas at our church.

Of course this experience has helped me as I write TV and radio scripts for Hahn Promotions. A little drama background doesn’t hurt a creative director.

Keeping the meme alive, I will tag Steve, Cord, and Ernie.