We’ve talked about the difficulty in discerning your unique, personal brand.

Here’s an exercise that can help you see a snapshot of your life and/or career, and ultimately help you define the ‘Brand Called You’ (ala Tom Peters).

Post-It Note Timeline

First, you’ll need three colors of Post-It Notes. In this example, we’ll be using

Yellow

Red

and Blue

And you’ll also need a sheet of poster board. 11 x 17 inches is a good size, but you can make it smaller or larger depending on how much information you want on the board.

Step 1: Brain Dump

The first step is to write significant events from your life (or career) onto the yellow post-it notes. Don’t worry about following a pattern or order. We’ll deal with that next.

Step 2: Order

Now you should have a group of significant events to work with. Place your post-it notes on the poster board. Take time to add events, filter out irrelevant events, and/or put items into chronological order. You may start to see patterns emerge or related events in a grouping or repeated cycles throughout many years.

If you see ‘chapters’ emerging in your life, you may group those together into the same column or stop a column when a chapter ends.

Step 3: Seeing Red

Take anything that has negative connotations and transcribe it to a red post-it note.

Replace the yellow note on your board. Now you may notice periods which were difficult in your life. You may also notice how these negative events affected the events that followed (even beneficially at times).

Step 4: Lessons Learned

Now, look at each chapter of your life/career. Try and discern what overriding lesson you learned in that time. Write a summary or title of that lesson on a blue post-it note.

Then place the blue post-it notes below each chapter in your timeline.

Step 5: Share It

The final step is to share your story with others. If you’re married, you might try it on your spouse first. Otherwise, share it with a close friend or relative. They’ll be pretty honest with you about what they found interesting or what you left out (or should leave out next time).

The more you share your story with others, the more comfortable you will be sharing your life experiences and lessons with people.

In the end though, you should be able to see what events have shaped your life… helping you see your personal brand. One that is unique and incredible. Just like you.

Thanks to Dave Jewitt at Your One Degree for sending me this process.

Boldly be yourself!

… chasing friends while playing tag.
… chasing your pet dog as he was running away with the chew toy.
… chasing your dad around the house, eventually falling in a heap on the couch and ending in a tickle fight.

At some point, many of us grow out of chasing and sign up for the (rat)race instead. We…

… race to a job before others can beat us to it.
… race against our peers to get the better car, bigger house and “perfect family.”
… race against time to try and find significance before it passes us by.

Simply running a race lacks passion. What can you do to rediscover yours? Maybe you just forgot what you were chasing. Maybe you need to know your red rubber ball. “Discover your passion and chase it for a lifetime.” As Kevin Carroll says.

Before you can do that though, ask yourself the question. “Am I just running? Or am I chasing something?”

That’s a good (even if it’s scary) place to start.

We don’t care as much about failing as we care about being embarrassed.

Picture yourself on a baseball team. If there wasn’t a chance of losing the game, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting to play hardball. The mantra is, “Win as a team and lose as a team.” Still, no one wants to be the batter who watches strike three pass by or the infielder who fails to snag an easy grounder ala Bill Buckner. The embarrassment would simply be too much.

Now picture yourself on a business team. If every business decision made was guaranteed success, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. If your group doesn’t hit their numbers, hopefully you can absorb the hit, adjust and go on. Still, no one wants to be the one who launches an unconventional marketing campaign that fails to get a response, or the champion for the product that flops. The embarrassment would simply be too much.

Do you believe in something you haven’t acted on?  Is there something amazing stirring inside of you, but you quiet it because it scares you?

There are ideas and dreams inside of us, tied up by our fears and insecurities. Innovations and glorious endeavors never begun because we fear embarrassment as an individual.

We resign ourselves to “lose as a team” instead.

By the way, Bill Buckner was not a failure. Amazingly, he ended his (over 20 year) career just 285 hits shy of 3,000. This (near) milestone is so great, baseball enthusiasts created a term for it… The 3,000 Hit Club. Only 27 players achieved 3,000 hits, while still only 88 players reached 2,500 hits since the inception of the league in 1869.

Conspiracy or Collaboration

There are times when conspiracy is a necessary evil. Most of the time though, conspiracy is a detriment to our relationships. It limits us and pits us against one another.

Which do you use in your business?

… in your church?

… with your friends and family?

I was blown away to walk into the impressionist exhibit and see Seurat’s “Sunday In The Park” welcoming me.

My camera decided to experiment in pointilism in honor of Seurat. We couldn’t use the flash in order to preserve the painting. I thoroughly enjoyed the visit. It’s not everyday I get to view works by Seurat, Van Gogh, Gaugin, Renoir, Monet, Rembrandt, Peter Paul Rubens and Degas. There is nothing like seeing these masterworks in person!

To take a complete left turn, here is a pic from our return trip home. After loading up on Sliders from White Castle and Blizzards from Dairy Queen, I found the juxtaposition of these two signs to be quite humorous.

Upon getting back to Tulsa, I had a few “divine moments” last week. One at Panera and one at Ted’s Cafe Escondido.

While meeting with my coworker Lisa, I looked up and exclaimed, “Oh, there’s Jesus!” Here’s what I saw:

A closeup:

Reference image:

Ted’s Café Escondido is one of our favorite restaurants. The food is wonderful, but so is the service. Now we know why. By looking at our comment card, you can see the servers get a little help.

Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries…

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh

A friend shared the poem above with me recently. I had heard it before. In fact, I had memorized it. Still, I had forgotten the principle within it: Find Beauty!

Sounds too simple and obvious, doesn’t it? But think about this a moment.

We’re Busy

We all admit we live in an accelerating culture.

As society continues to speed up, it becomes increasingly difficult to pause long enough to see the beauty around us. We don’t have time to pluck blackberries, let alone notice a burning bush.

In April of 2007, The Washington Post performed a test. They set out a burning bush to see who would notice it. You may have seen the story or the video of the event. World-renowned violinist Joshua Bell performed some of the greatest music ever composed, playing a $3.5 million violin. 1,100 people passed him. A few dozen noticed him. Beauty was overlooked in favor of rush hour.

Beauty is Hard to See During Ugly Times

Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin was among the first British soldiers to liberate the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1945. While waiting an excessive number of days for relief supplies to arrive, he witnessed droves of former prisoners continuing to die. They needed food, water and medical supplies. Instead, the first shipment they received was a very large quantity of lipstick. Here is the account from his diary:

I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.

History has recorded few things as ugly as the Holocaust. Yet, something as simple as lipstick brought beauty (not just the cosmetic variety) to an ugly tragedy.

Maybe you, or someone you know, are in the midst of some pretty ugly stuff. Beauty is easy to see when life is good. But what about when it is hard or painful? Is there something simple, which can bring an element of beauty into the camp? You may be surprised how little things can make a huge impact.

Find a Guide

I attended an arts conference at Willow Creek last year. Dewitt Jones was one of my favorite speakers. A photographer for National Geographic, he talked about doing what you love… or sometimes loving what you do.

He traveled all over the world for National Geographic. When he arrived someplace foreign to him, he would find a guide. Not a guide to show him around. “Those were easy to find.” He said. He found guides who were in love with the area, because they had something to share: their own unique stories.

Maybe you have a hard time finding beauty. Find a guide. They will help you see the beauty which surrounds you. The bush afire with God.

May you find that earth is indeed crammed with heaven.

Your room may not be a room at all. It might be a restaurant or a park. It may be a movie or artwork. It may be a person.

You may not go into this room every day, but there’s comfort in knowing it is there when you want or need it. The hardest part is when you no longer can go to your room. Something happens and you lose a special place in your life.

On February 12th, the door to my room was shut. Never to be opened again.

My friend, mentor, spiritual guide and role model, John Kilgore, was unexpectedly removed from my life and the lives of others who loved him deeply.

John was unmatched, the utmost example of expressing love and compassion to those around him. He was famous, even infamous, for his unlimited and enveloping hugs. He had a special gift of making whomever he spoke with feel as though they were the most important person in the world to him in that moment. He desperately wanted people to know they were loved.

John taught me to sing… to worship. He taught me to see beauty in God’s creation: mountains, trees, flowers, sunsets… and people. He taught me how to love people with intensity and genuine compassion. He showed me how to bring the best out of those around me.

John was my first example of how to be an artistic man of God. I was desperate for that. My biggest regret was never sharing that with him.

So, what does this mean to you? You may have never met John. My tribute may not strike home with you. I hope you leave with this. Enjoy the rooms of beauty in your life. Never take them for granted. Soak them up and add your own beauty to theirs.

You never know when the door may close.

John visiting us at the hospital upon the birth of my first son.

John, you changed my life. Thank you for loving me and my family. Thank you for making our lives full of beauty. We miss you greatly.

During a recent lunch with a friend, he asked me, “What do you believe Dustin?”

I thought for a moment, then his cell phone rang. I was grateful for the time to ponder his question as he took the call.

There’s something powerful that happens when you ask yourself what you believe. The moment seemed filled with mystery and depth.

I realized this: I believe there is incredible, untapped potential inside each person. Most people never reach that potential. They are bound by something. Maybe a hurt, a habit or a false story they tell themselves over and over again.

I believe, at our core, we all desire to see that potential unleashed – yet on the surface it scares us to death.

We’re afraid of reaching that potential and then discovering it wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. I was rejected. I failed anyway.
We’re afraid of others reaching their potential also. What if he won’t need me anymore? Maybe others will think she’s better than me.

So, we bind them up.

I believe companies and organizations do this all the time. We create rules to a game we don’t even understand. Then we expect everyone else to follow them.

“You can’t move to that square, you don’t have seniority.”

I think we hire, promote and fire people for the wrong reasons.

I believe we condition people to be something they’re not… then reward them for it.

The word ‘standardize’ makes me want to puke!

I believe there’s a way for people to be set free…

…and I believe it is worth the effort. Every bit of it.

Scars

The other day I was shaving and ouch!! I cut my chin. I looked in the mirror and realized that I cut myself because of a scar. The skin was raised a bit by the scar and the blade just nicked it. This scar was the result of an incident when I was two or three years old. While running through my grandma’s kitchen, I tripped and bust my chin open on her linoleum floor. Most people don’t even know I have a scar on my chin. It is on the bottom of the ball of my chin and isn’t noticeable unless I raise my lower lip upward dramatically. I don’t even notice it very often. I hadn’t thought about it in ages, yet it was still there waiting for a hasty blade to bring it to my attention.

We all have scars. Some are from childhood incidents like mine. Others are even harder to see. They’re emotional, psychological, or spiritual. Nevertheless, they are still scars and they wait for some hasty action, ill-spoken word, or reminder of the past to reveal them.

As a volunteer drama director I see this happen occasionally with actors. We will be working on a scene and something triggers an emotion… the actor loses it. We usually take a break and I talk with the actor. Often, something in the scene or about the character revealed something to actor about his/herself. Not surprising since that is what most writers attempt to do. They want people to relate and respond to the story and/or the characters.

My wife Tammy and I were watching Message in a Bottle one evening. Although it is a rather drab movie with suspect acting, there was a moment that shot me to pieces. (Warning: Possible spoiler if you haven’t seen the movie.) One of the characters receives a phone call to find out that a loved one was killed in an accident. On the surface this seems like nothing incredible. This happens in other movies. This time though, I fell apart. The phone call reminded me of one I had received a few months before. A call telling me two friends of ours had died in a plane accident. The scar was reopened without warning and quite abruptly.

What do we do? We can’t walk on eggshells around everyone worrying that we might unwittingly tear open what time has worked so hard to heal. This would paralyze our ability to communicate and ultimately connect with people.

The best answer I have comes from Lethal Weapon 3 (not a typical fount of wisdom, but give me a moment).  There is a scene in this movie where Mel Gibson and Renee Russo’s characters start showing their scars to each other. They take it to extremes by beginning to disrobe, but that’s beside the point. They share their stories through these scars. This is where they fall for each other. Why? Because he relates to her. She understands where he’s been. They connect. What if that’s the point?

What if we have the scars so we can share them with others? So we can relate to one another. Sharing our hurt and hopefully our healing with people who may have similar stories of their own. It’s hard. There’s a fear that people may be disgusted by our scars or maybe they will reopen the wound somehow. That fear however, should not impede us from sharing with the right people at the right moment.

It may be worth a nick on the chin to engage someone’s heart.