One of the lies that hold us back is believing people will see what we’re doing and will criticize us, ridicule us, and/or kick us out of the tribe. 

In 2000, researchers at Cornell University ran an experiment where a random student was selected to wear an embarrassing t-shirt (with Barry Manilow on it). Researchers asked the student to estimate how many classmates would recognize the shirt. They would estimate close to 50%, but only 25% actually remembered the Manilow shirt.

They labeled this misperception as the Spotlight Effect.

We are hyper-aware of our embarrassments, our shortcomings, and our failures. We expect many others recognize these attributes. We fail to realize they’re usually too consumed with their own embarrassments, shortcomings, and failures to even notice ours.

In other words, “Go for it! Nobody’s watching.”